That day, once again, I saw her shedding big, diamond-sized teardrops, maybe for the umpteenth time.
We had an argument in the morning over some trivial matter when we met that day, and then, we stopped talking, yet I decided to walk her home because I always do that, and I love walking with her.
After we reached her apartment building, we didn’t say bye to each other like we usually do, I just walked off, and I didn’t even look back.
After a few minutes, I texted her something in anger that she didn’t reply to until that evening. I was mad at her, but I realized she was already going through so much with her mother’s health not being well, her sister’s recent hospitalization, and stress from her work, and I argued with her unnecessarily.
I was worried for her health because of all the stress she has been going through lately. So, I called her in the evening to make her understand why I was mad at her and wanted to fix it. She answered and started sobbing in frustration and sadness. She started arguing with me again, but I decided to take it easy.
She lives nearby my place, so while I was talking to her and listening to her whining, I hurriedly put on my jeans, wore my T-shirt and shoes, got in the elevator, came downstairs, and started walking toward her apartment building, which is just a 10-minute walking distance.
As I was walking toward her place and still talking to her on the phone, she was accusing me of bad behavior and telling me in her fury how I always hurt her without any reason. I tried to make my case again, but she was too upset to understand what I was trying to tell her.
I reached her place and saw her standing in the nook outside her apartment building. She was sobbing with big, diamond-sized teardrops rolling down her rosy cheeks. I stood close to her. I tried to pull her into my arms to cheer her up, but she resisted and stepped away. I clenched her right wrist and started making my case again in an assertive but caring tone.
She started sobbing heavily, “You don’t love me. You always hurt me. I don’t trust you. My life is hell!”
I was listening to her calmly, and this time, I successfully pulled her into my arms. I put my arms around her and kissed her on her forehead. So, she became a little soft and relaxed, but diamond-sized teardrops were still rolling down her cheeks.
So then, I sang her a few songs because she likes it when I sing for her. She didn’t show direct excitement, but I could tell from her body language that she liked it.
I wiped her tears with my hand and kissed her moist, teary eyes. And then, I kissed her cheeks and wiped the tears off them too. And I said to her with tears in my eyes this time, “Baby, please stop crying. I can’t ever see you crying. It hurts me like hell to see you cry like this!”
Her eyes were still moist, but no diamond-sized teardrops were rolling down her cheeks now. I told her a few funny jokes, and finally, a sweet smile found its special place on her face again. She looks pretty when she smiles, and I am madly in love with her because she is the only sweet romantic love of my life.
Finally, we reconciled just like always and hugged each other tightly.
Whenever I see my girl crying, I feel weak because I love her so much that I always want to see her only smile.
Physiologically, tears are produced by the lacrimal glands present in our eyes. In scientific terms, the process of shedding tears is called Lacrimation.
And lacrimation is a natural process that takes place whenever our eyes get irritated by dirt or pungent irritants to keep themselves clear of irritation and to keep them lubricated so that we can see clearly. However, as we are humans — the creatures of emotions and feelings, shedding tears is our natural emotional response to the pain, sadness, or sometimes even happiness or satisfaction we feel.
So, when do we cry? And, does crying or shedding tears make us strong or weak?
Let’s take a look at some scenarios where we experience shedding of teardrops in life and how it makes us feel when that happens:
Scenario I – When we feel a stinging sensation or irritation in our eyes.
When something goes in our eyes, such as dirt, chemical vapor or gas, small flies, or any kind of irritant, we begin to shed tears. And as I mentioned above, it’s our physiological response processed through our eyes to tackle such discomfort or irritation.
So, do we feel strong or weak when we shed these types of tears?
Of course not, but we do feel pain for some time when our eyes are irritated. So, we go and splash some water in the eyes, and in no time, we begin to feel better (Please note: Never splash water in the eyes because it can damage your eyesight in the long run, instead, cup your palms and take some clean tap water in it and gently dip your eyes in it and repeat it a few times over).
Since no strong emotions are involved in this scenario, it doesn’t cause us any weakness (maybe tiny, negligible weakness because of the temporary discomfort), nor does it make us feel strong.
So, next time, if anyone sees you shedding tears at the kitchen table while chopping an onion and they ask, “Why are you crying, dear?” Tell them it is just nothing but lacrimation (the body’s physiological response to pungent irritation caused by sulfenic acid that is produced and vaporized when we cut an onion).
We also shed these kinds of tears when we eat something spicy. So, this particular scenario is related to our physiological response to eye irritation.
Now let’s discuss some other scenarios where our human emotions and feelings are involved that mostly make us shed tears, but do they make us strong or weak?
Scenario II- When we feel sad.
There are tons of reasons why we can feel sad sometimes, such as:
1. When someone hurts us physically and mostly emotionally.
2. When we are going through some physical or mental sickness or pain.
3. When we see our loved ones going through pain, like in my case, whenever I see my girl crying, I feel sad, so I also feel like crying.
4. When we lose our loved ones over the Big D (You know, the ultimate end of everyone’s journey).
5. When we expect something in life, but that expectation does not get fulfilled.
6. When we know we are right and innocent, but someone accuses us of something wrong we have never done, especially if the accusers are our loved ones.
7. When we think about tragic events from the past.
When we experience any of these situations, we feel sad. And when we get overwhelmed by that sadness, we begin to shed tears. All these feelings make us weak, so we cry our hearts out, which is our emotional response to deal with that weakness.
Scenario III – When we experience feelings that are not caused by sadness, but feelings that are overwhelmingly moving, such as:
1. When we accomplish our long-cherished goal or ambition.
When we strive for something we deeply desire with our hearts and souls, we work hard to get it; we go through so much pain, failures and struggle, but we never quit, and eventually, we accomplish it.
After accomplishing our long-cherished goal, we look back on that journey and recall our struggle. We remember all those selfless people who helped us, all those naysayers who hated us and tried to discourage us, and how we kept pushing forward despite all the obstacles.
And now, we are standing at the top of the mountain, so we get overwhelmed by all these emotions, and we shed tears.
Often, these tears are tears of happiness and satisfaction, and they make us feel satisfied and inspired. Therefore, we feel strong and radiate the strength of our indomitable spirit to inspire all those who are still struggling to accomplish their respective goals.
This feeling can make us teary-eyed, but as I mentioned, it is not out of sadness but only out of the sense of satisfaction that we went through hell but came out conquering that hell.
2. When we realize that we’ve hurt someone unintentionally, especially someone we care about a lot. And then, we summon the courage to apologize to them, and when they accept our apology and embrace us as if nothing happened, with the same love and kindness they’ve always had for us, we get overwhelmed by their selfless love and big-heartedness and tears begin to form in our eyes and eventually they roll down our cheeks.
These tears are tears of remorse and redemption and they make us feel strong again because now we are guilt-free.
3. When our loved ones hurt or accuse us of something wrong we had never even intended, we feel sad. But later on, when those who hurt us realize their mistakes and apologize to us with all honesty, we forgive them with a big heart and show them the same love we’ve always had for them.
When this happens, these emotions can make us teary-eyed because we realize our innocence has prevailed, so we begin to shed tears.
These tears make us strong because we always believed in our conviction no matter what the world thought of us, including our loved ones; we knew in our hearts that we were right, and when our honesty is honored, it makes us feel strong, even though we are teary-eyed at the time.
4. When our faith is upheld and our prayers are answered by the Creator of the universe.
When we pray hard and for a long time for something, and one day, our long, hard prayers are answered by the Creator, we feel grateful, and we begin to shed tears of joy and gratefulness.
For instance, if our loved one is sick, and the doctors and science show no hope for their healing, but we keep praying in faith incessantly, and then out of some magic of faith, that loved one begins to show signs of healing, and eventually, that loved one recovers and is healed.
This feeling gives us joy because what we prayed for has been answered, so we spontaneously cry tears of joy and gratefulness. These tears make us feel strong and joyful.
5. When we see our loved ones achieving great success in their lives, especially when parents or teachers see their children accomplishing great things, they feel proud, and teardrops begin to flow from their eyes out of this feeling of pride and happiness.
These tears can make us feel strong because of the satisfaction we get from our loved ones’ successes.
Scenario IV – When we watch some movie or a motivational video or hear some motivational speech.
When we watch a movie or motivational video, or speech, where we witness a reel-life character’s agony or someone’s real-life struggle and how they overcome it with determination, we feel motivated, so we try to establish a relationship between their struggle and ours, therefore, this feeling can cause us to shed tears because we are overwhelmingly motivated and uplifted by it.
These tears make us feel strong because we are inspired by others’ motivational stories.
Scenario V – When we hear some melancholic music or a meaningful song that makes us feel nostalgic, which is easily relatable.
We feel overwhelmed by this feeling, so we shed tears. These kinds of tears can make us feel both strong and weak at the same time.
Let me explain — When we listen to some music that evokes the memories of someone we loved in the past, but that loved one is not with us anymore, we cry and feel weak because we miss them.
At the same time, while we are listening to such music, we realize although those loved ones are not with us anymore, their love is still with us in our hearts, we cry because we miss them, yet we feel strong thinking about their sweet memories and that everlasting love we still share with them even without their physical presence in our lives.
So, these are some scenarios where we may shed tears, and they can make us feel both strong and weak. Remember this — if you feel weak, let your tears wipe away your weakness and make you strong again.
Whenever you feel like crying because of some sadness, feel free to cry your heart out because crying will help you lighten the load of your heart.
Crying or shedding teardrops is our heart’s and soul’s natural expression through our eyes to some intense emotions we feel sometimes.
And it’s okay to shed tears sometimes, but don’t spend too much time crying because if you have good health, you still have a lot of life to live and experience, so you might as well wipe your tears and get on with the rest of your life with a smile on your face.
Also, seeking professional medical help is a wise option if you’re finding it difficult to deal with sadness. Please read my article, How to Deal with Life When Everything Seems Chaotic.
Now, before I end this article — do you remember seeing some movie or advertisement or funny video where we see only the crying face of a character appearing in it with tears rolling down its cheeks, and then, the camera pans down, and it’s shown that the character is just chopping an onion, and the tears are the result of that character’s onion-chopping action? Well, I don’t know about you, but it gets me every time.
On this amusing note, please wipe your tears, put a nice, heartfelt smile on your face, and get on with your life.
Let me see YOUR smile now. Come on! You can do better than that. Now, that’s more like it!
Keep smiling.
Disclaimer – Pictures used in this article belong to their copyrighted owners.