You can have all the pleasures of life and be among the crowds of millions of people, yet you’ll be the loneliest person on earth.
Loneliness has followed me my whole life. The only time I didn’t feel lonely was when my mother (my Ma) was around.
I loved her company so much. We would watch TV shows and movies together a whole day long. She would cook lots of delicious food for me whenever I felt sad. She would know how I was feeling just by looking at my face, without me having to say anything to her.
She would hug me and caress and kiss me on my forehead whenever I looked unhappy. She would always say, “Son, this human life is God’s very precious gift that we all have, so try to be happy in it as much as you can, no matter how many challenges life throws at you!”
We loved each other crazily. Oh boy! That was an awesome time I had with my Ma.
Then a few years ago, she got sick. It turned out to be terminal. But she always kept smiling despite the pain to keep me from being sad. Although I kept the faith, prayed my heart out, and tried everything to better her health, the big D finally came and took her from me. Even as she breathed her last, she smiled for the very last time despite her unbearable pain, as if she wanted to tell me not to be sad even after she was not going to be physically around me anymore.
Since then, loneliness has followed me like my shadow. Earlier I used to cry a lot missing my Ma, but now I cherish every moment I spent with her and try to live my life in the way she taught me to live, by being happy as much as I can, despite the loneliness.
My Ma always insisted that I live my life to the fullest and with a smile, so I try my best, knowing she is still watching me and is with me in my heart and memories.
So, I’ve found some ways to help keep my loneliness at a bay day in and day out. And I hope they are of some help to you too.
1. Have A Purpose For Your Life:
The best way to deal with loneliness is by defining some purpose for your life, no matter how old or young you are, and then going after serving that purpose.
And if that purpose is served, define another one, and do the same. Keep going.
2. Be Creative With Something of Your Liking:
Lose yourself in some form of art, for instance, music or writing.
Pick up a guitar or violin and start learning to play it or write your life experiences — start blogging or YouTubing. Be creative with whatever you love the most.
3. Help Others:
Look for the people who may need your help, and help them. If you like cooking, cook for the hungry, and feed them.
There are many ways to help others who may need your help. Like, I try to help and motivate others through my words, so find something that you have that can be useful to those who need some help.
4. Start Looking After Yourself:
Start taking care of yourself daily, and stay well-groomed and healthy. Please read my article, Health is Wealth, where I extensively talk about why it is important to stay healthy and how to do it.
5. Engage Yourself In The World of Movies/Stories/Books:
Watch some good quality movies (action movies help immensely).
Read self-help books at your own pace. Take it all in.
6. Stay Away from Negative Influences:
Steer clear of toxic people. They can make you feel even lonelier.
7. Start Looking Around. Your Life May Not Be Worse After All:
Observe the people living on the streets, yet they never give up. They inspire you and make you realize your life is not that bad.
8. Overcome Your Addiction:
Find ways or seek help to overcome an addiction such as alcohol or smoking if you have any because, on the days when you don’t do it, you feel very lonely.
I’ve never smoked or sipped alcohol in my whole life, but my father was a hardcore alcoholic and chain smoker, and I used to observe him a lot before his passing at the age of 42. Despite having a family of us, he was the loneliest person on earth.
9. Be In A Romantic Relationship (but with Caution):
In my case, I’m lucky to have a nice girl to have a romantic relationship with. She loves and understands me and prays for my well-being.
Of course, we have our bad days sometimes, where we argue badly, but then we give each other space to reflect on that situation. And then whoever needs to apologize apologizes, and the other forgives, and we get back.
Please read my article 9 Pillars of A Healthy Romantic Relationship, where I talk extensively about the aspects that can help strengthen a romantic relationship.
If you’re lucky and find the right life partner who understands, loves, and cares for you for real, the intensity of loneliness will reduce. But make sure the person you share your heart and life with is worth it.
Never be in a relationship with a person who is toxic and makes you feel worse and even lonelier. In that case, it’s better to be alone on your own.
10. Children Can Be A Great Source of Excitement For Life:
Spend time with children. Their enthusiasm has the power to fill you with a positive spirit too. Just forget that you are an adult for a while and be like a child while you are with children.
11. Live In The Present Moment:
Have a big goal or purpose for your life, but try to live one day at a time. Plan your daily activities and try to complete them daily. Don’t sweat over your past nor fret over your future. And repeat the same thing day after day, and you’ll be surprised to see that you’ve accomplished your big goal in no time.
12. Seek Professional Help If Needed:
Seek psychology or psychiatric help to check if your loneliness is not part of depression. There’s nothing wrong with seeking professional help.
All these things won’t make your loneliness disappear, but they will help you make your peace with loneliness so that you can continue to live your life without getting overwhelmed by the feeling of loneliness.
All the things I’ve proposed in this article are fact-based on my personal experience. I used to feel intense loneliness, but now I’ve made my peace with it, and I’m living my life for a purpose — the purpose of helping people like me in their fight against loneliness through my words.
Never give up on life. Keep fighting. Keep living.